I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
