HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
