coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
