just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
