You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
