You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
