Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
