Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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