this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
