Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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