i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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