your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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