i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
