the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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