I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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