They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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