In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
