what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Operation Purity has been aborted
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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