He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
