That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My vagina just clenched in fear
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
