why didn't you poke me back
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so that wasnt chicken after all
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
