Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
