I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize