Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
