Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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