she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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