guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
