I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
