Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
