You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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