you have to choose: penises or morals?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
