Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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