just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
