Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
