JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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