So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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