Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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