I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
