i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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