just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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