Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
