Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
