if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
