Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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