i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
