And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
