I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I faked an abortion last night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
