my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
