I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
