bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
