when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
