im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
When are your genitals available?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
