I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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