I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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