I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
