Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
