careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
