if you like me you must not know who I am
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
