We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
