btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
