What a fucking waste of an outfit
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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