great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
