Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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