I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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