I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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