Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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