i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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