sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
