great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
