I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
