I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
