ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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