He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
